A Weekend of Bad Movies: Alice in Rome

After a couple of weeks of DVD marathons at home, I’m watching movies on cinemas again. However, image magnification and surround sound can’t turn a lackluster film into something amazing. Not even the gargantuan IMAX screen and 3D glasses can do that trick. If it’s a bad movie, it doesn’t matter whether you watch it on the big screen or in your iPod Nano, it will still be bad.

This weekend, I went all the way to North EDSA for a duo of bad movies.

Alice in Wonderland

When: March 21, 2010; 4:40 PM

Where: SM North EDSA IMAX

Director: Tim Burton (Sweeney Todd, Edward Scissorhands)

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, and Matt Lucas

If you think Burton’s adaptation will embellish the trippy and subtly philosophical elements of this beloved children’s story, then think again. The overly simplistic storyline takes away all the wonder that makes this wonderland wonderful. Though the performances and CGI renditions of Depp, Hathaway, Bonham-Carter, and Lucas are undeniably charming, the entire film remains insipid.

Target Audience: kiddos and lovers of box-office movies

Rating: 2/5

When in Rome

When: March 20, 2010; 10:00 PM

Where: Trinoma

Director: Mark Steven Johnson (Ghost Rider, Daredevil)

Starring: Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel

A sloppy romantic comedy that’s low on humor and romance. Star Cinema love stories are a lot better than this, and that’s not saying much. The Fontana di Trevi (Fountain of Love) may seem like a nice touch to the story, but too much slapstick and logical lapses got in the way.

Target Audience: stupid people in love

Rating: 1/5

The lineup of movies showing this week seems more promising. Adolf Alix recreates the Shakespeare tragedy; this time, in a modern Filipino setting with Romeo at Juliet. Meanwhile, Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey play gay lovebirds slash jailbirds slash con men in I Love You Philip Morris. See you at the movies.