2010 Advance Warning (Introduction, #16-17)

Now that the US summer is over, it’s time for quality cinema to reign. Aside from Inception and Toy Story 3, is there any other noteworthy 2010 release that comes to your mind? None, I thought so. The latter part of the year is filled with prestige films, arthouse fare, Oscar baits, and films “for your consideration”. Why do producers and distributors do whatever it takes to secure a 4th quarter release date for their films? The answer is simple. They want to be fresh and easily remembered by the time film critics make their top 10 lists and hand out their critic’s choice awards. And so, a tidal wave of quality films will come crushing down on us in the next four months.

Looking back

2009 set a number of milestones in the landscape of cinema. Avatar became the gold standard in 3D filmmaking and box-office success. Katheryn Bigelow stumbled upon Oscar gold and became the first woman to win Best Director. As Hollywood slaughtered originality for remakes, sequels, and squeakquels, independent cinema offered a viable alternative. Elsewhere in the world, South Korean and Romanian directors continue to astound everyone with their distinct filmographies. If these are signs of things to come, 2010 promises something bigger.

Moving forward

The factors that influenced my level of anticipation for these films are the following: the director’s reputation, the star wattage in the cast, the film’s story and style, and the buzz generated from early reviews. Given that Venice and Toronto Film Festivals are just around the corner, promotional materials are already abundant. There are already teasers, trailers, and posters which gave me a taste of how the final product may turn out. With that said, let me share the 17 films I am dying to see in 2010.

17. The Town

Directed by: Ben Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner, Rebecca Hall, Blake Lively

Can you believe that Ben Affleck will turn out to be an acclaimed filmmaker? He will try to convince non-believers that Gone Baby Gone is no fluke, so he directs himself in this crime saga that looks as intense and as gripping as his debut film.

16. The Tree of Life

Directed by: Terence Malick (The New World , The Thin Red Line)

Starring: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn

My excitement for this film is not as great as everyone else for the mere reason that I haven’t seen any Malick film. But since The Tree of Life is on everybody’s lips, it’s hard not to get carried away by the pandemonium. According to Wikipedia, this is the tale of a Midwestern boy’s journey from the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as a lost soul in the modern world and his quest to regain meaning in life.

Up Next: One-man shows by Ryan Reynolds and James Franco

August Film Logs

Director: Christoffer Boe (Allegro, Everything Will Be Fine)
Starring: Maria Bonnevie, Nikolaj Lie Kaas

An existential urban romance that resembles a perfume commercial and a Twilight Zone episode.

Rating: 4/5

The Expendables
Directed by: Sylvester Stallone (Rocky Balboa, Rambo)
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Steve Austin

A throwback to '80s action movies. It is over-the-top, ridiculous, and excessively violent. The Expendables did to action what Drag Me To Hell did to horror.

Rating: 2/5

Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Directed by: Brad Peyton
Starring: James Marsden, Nick Nolte, Christina Applegate, Bette Midler, Neil Patrick Harris

It will appeal to its intended crowd of kids and pet lovers because of its unabashed cuteness. But it’s silly nonetheless.

Rating: 1/5

Step Up 3D

Directed by: Jon Chu (Step Up 2)

Starring: Rick Malambri, Adam G. Sevani, Sharni Vinson

Yet another unnecessary sequel rendered in 3D. You're better off watching America's Best Dance Crew and Showtime.

Rating: 1/5


Directed by: Phillip Noyce (The Bone Collector, Rabbit-Proof Fence)

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber

Evelyn Salt will never be Jason Bourne. Salt is disappointing from beginning to end.

Rating: 2/5

Most Played Songs On My iPod (August ’10)

Love the Way You Lie - Eminem Ft. Rihanna

It glorifies domestic abuse and Megan Fox addiction. This is bad. Don't let kids watch this video.

Come Alive (The War of the Roses) - Janelle Monae

One of the most original artists to come out in a long time. Presenting the musical genius of Janelle Monae. Listen to her song here.

Club Can't Handle Me - FloRida Ft. David Guetta

David Guetta is selling out and is going mainstream big time. But as long as he keeps churning out dance tracks like this, I ain't complaining.

Dancing On My Own - Robyn

Robyn still has it. This somber club song is in the same vein as With Every Heartbeat.

King of Anything - Sara Bareilles

Don't you find her lyrics adorable? I can't embed the video, so here is the link instead.

Fire With Fire - Scissor Sisters

Freddie Mercury of the 21st century.

Closer to the Edge - 30 Seconds to Mars

An epic rock anthem from Jared Leto. Watch the video here.

Kickstarts - Example

UK artists are definitely more interesting than their US counterparts. Here is an "example".

Once - Diana Vickers

Diana Vickers is an X-Factor frontrunner turned 4th placer. Her debut single maximizes her breathy vocals for this electro-pop rock song that has her singing "I'm only gonna let you kill me once". Watch the video here.

Shots - LMFAO Ft. Lil Jon

No party is complete without LMFAO in the background.

On Kanye West, Twitter, and Chuck Norris

I’mma let you finish, but Kanye West just joined Twitter and his tweets are dope.

This Grammy winning rapper is known for his music and controversial outbursts. He dissed MTV for choosing Britney Spears over him as opening act during the 2007 MTV VMA. Barely a year ago, he pulled the “I’mma let you finish” stunt on Taylor Swift. So being a media train wreck that he is, Kanye is like a time bomb waiting to self-destruct on Twitter any minute. But before that happens, let’s enjoy his megalomania run amok on the Twitterverse.

I’m not fond of following celebrities on Twitter. The hell I care if Justin Beiber is driving a Lamborghini or if Kris Aquino decided to stop tweeting. But Kanye is officially the most entertaining celebrity on Twitter that I can’t resist the urge to follow him and even blog about him. It’s fun to see this damn clown make a fool out of himself. Kanye is also living up to his reputation as a wealthy narcissist and a label whore. Heck, he can’t distinguish there from their and his “spelling is atrocious”. Here are some of his tweets so far.

  • Is it wrong to wear a CHANEL dinner jacket with a T shirt to the airport if it's still breakfast time out here in Singapore uugh TOO LATE! (Kanye also tweets about his Lanvin sneakers, YSL suits, and vintage Hermes travel bags.)

  • Suits is an expensive addiction (This boy needs a lesson on subject-verb agreement, among other things.)

  • Avatar on the 13 foot screen ....wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut!!!!! (Mind you, he’s referring to his home entertainment system.)

  • yeah.... we getting about 80 FOLLOWERS A SECOND no exaggeration!!! (Twitter is now Kanye’s playground.)

  • I think Twitter was designed specifically with me in mind just my humble opinion hahhhahaaaahaaa humble hahahahhahaahaaaa (See? I told you so.)

In my opinion, all these nonsensical shit is pure marketing gimmick since Kanye is desperately staging a comeback. Kanye, listen to your ex-collaborator John Mayer in his sage-like advice via Twitter, “Yo, @kanyewest, welcome to twitter. Try not to use it as a marketing device. Tweeps will see through it. Give them YOU." When his album drops, I bet he’ll instantly go MIA on Twitter.

Anyway, Kanye’s tweets are begging for parody so it comes as no surprise when comedian Aziz Ansari gently mocked him through the #predictingkanyetweets hashtag. Kanye himself acknowledged Aziz’s Kanyeisms saying “It's so funny how Aziz's tweets really sound like me... am I that predictable?” Below are some hilarious Kanyeisms copied in verbatim.

  • @azizansari Hans Zimmer needs 2 write a score 4 whenever I eat a cookie. when I eat cookies shit is mad suspenseful

  • @azizansari Damn I wish Hermes made edible snacks, Cheezits just ain't dope enough for my mouth.

  • @ZomgTV I wish Burberry made red flavored juice drank, cause kool aid no longer dope enough for my holiness.

  • @satokoko3105 I'm not really into money. that's why I'm using it.

  • @Australianimal next time i calls my moms, im usin' auto-tune

  • @Australianimal HEY EVERYONE! I just bought Latvia

  • @DahllaBillz I saw Inception in IMAX and realized my TV was the same size

  • @VKNG: fuck you mean I can't follow myself?

  • @KnowDC I Just put a swarovski crystal chandelier in the back seat of my benz

  • @WonderkidFb I met the Queen of England today- that mufuka bowed to me!! Y'all can't do nuttin but crown me... KING'YE!

  • @chriscbrown Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it... I guess every superhero need his theme music!


  • @seoulove I think Twitter.com should actually be www.KanyeWest.com/twitter Just makes more sense.

  • @emcphee32 Don't you hate when you leavin' a restaurant & a poor dude begging, askin to lick your fingers? These are MY fingers.

  • @levin_samuel Genius doesn't sleep. It waits 'till morning so regular people can see how great it truly is.

  • @PinkFlufyBunny The only time the world wasn't talkin about me was during 9/11 and even then it only lasted a week

  • @criterionwhore Jay-Z wanted to see the Truffaut double feature but I insisted on Godard because when I role, I role postmodern.

  • @poorunkown Is there anyone in here that can tie my shoes, I aint tryin to bend over

  • @WonderkidFb My shit is addictive, my lyrics are dope. I got Lohan on her knees, sniffin my lines up like they're Coke.

  • @FigureInFrame On second thought a diamond-encrusted pillowcase wasn't such a great idea SMH

  • @TheJuice IDK why Cali kids always say "Ya feel me" after every sentence. When it's clear MY music is the only thing ppl feel.

  • @cfenzmuzik I bet Diddy wakes up in the morning wishing he had my POWER

  • @kanyesmug If I grabbed the mic from Miley Cyrus would any1 really care?

  • @tom9d yo grilled cheese is DELICIOUS. im hiring a grilled cheese chef for real. shits incredible.

  • @CallMeANguyener Everybody keep asking me why I got such expensive taste. Dawg my teeth made of diamonds, fuck you think!?

  • @knightmichel Shopping in a shop that just closed!!

  • @Hanzi83 why aint i the poster child for twitter.. maaannn fuck that birdd.. i can tweet... look tweet tweet


  • @FMFanboys I don't do typo's. Think of it as a new word.

  • @damion_white I guess it's time to head back to vegas/my pockets fat they splurged on cake mix....

  • @ hannaconduh I brush my teeth w YSL toothpaste. EVERYBODY'S BREATH SMELL CHEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @ddubs307 bitch i asked for 10 karats not carrots in my salad

  • @joegoodguy Just copped these Versace printed dinosaur bones..going for a pre-historic feel in my dining room.

To see more of these tweets, check out #predictingkanyetweets. Or you may also follow the braggadocio himself @kanyewest.

All these Kanyeisms remind me of a pre-Twitter dude who became the subject of the Internet phenomenon Chuck Norris Facts. The website features absolutely ridiculous and absurd heroic stunts and characteristics of Chuck Norris. So I’m ending this post with a few Chuck Norris facts. Enjoy!

  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

  • Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.

  • A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.


Related Posts with Thumbnails