9 Hottest Magazine Covers of ‘09

Here’s to another year of objectifying sex in magazine covers. The usual suspects, men’s lifestyle magazines, put their game face on as they release one hot cover after another. But in their pursuit to push the envelope, they’re finding it harder and harder to differentiate sexy from slutty. In this age of shameless Photoshopping, even the ugliest ducklings can be turned into majestic swans in a single click. The cover model doesn’t even have to be a beauty anymore, concept and art direction take the fore.

Not Hot Enough

Cristine Reyes, FHM September

After being crowned as FHM’s Sexiest for 2009, how could this be? Look at the cover, Cristine definitely deserves better. But fret not, she’s in her full hotness glory on the inside pages.

Viva Hot Babes (Katya Santos, Maui Taylor, and Andrea del Rosario), FHM February

They’re called has-beens for a reason.

Gerard Anderson, CosmoMen

Aljur should have been on the cover instead, agree?

Gerard Anderson & Kim Chiu, Metro December

A number of teeny-boppers can turn into demigods in a bat of an eyelash, but not them.

Unknown Women, Playboy April

This had a lot of potential. Mr. Art Director, you are so fired.

Paloma, Maxim Collector’s Edition

Why don’t you just take your clothes off? Spare us from these hideous outfits.

Paloma, FHM April

High-octane concept, in my opinion. Putting glitters on Paloma’s pussy and nips is genius, but I hope they have chosen another photo for the cover. She looks like an old maid here.

Mocha, Maxim April

Props for being brave. Slaps for being sleazy. I miss the days when lesbo action was hot.

Honorable Mentions

Marge Simpson, Playboy US November

Although this is a foreign cover, this is just too good to ignore. The mother of those fuckers bared it all to commemorate The Simpsons’ 20^th anniversary. So who’s next? Bart on GQ? Lisa on Cosmo?

Shaina Magdayao, Mega October

She’s on her way to becoming a hot property. She almost made the cut, if only she had less clothes on.

#9

Ornussa Cadness, UNO October

She appeared on two covers for October: Rogue and UNO. Some may claim that the Rogue cover is classier and sexier, but I still picked this one over the other. Ornussa is not meant to be classy. She’s a wildchild. In this cover, she is herself.

#8

Cherry Ann Kubota, T3 April

Among the five ladies who graced the 100^th issue of FHM (Precious Adona, Joyce So, Jacq Yu, and Gail Nicolas), Cherry Ann is the hottest. T3 goes out with a bang with this cover.

#7

Bangs Garcia, FHM May

She finally spreads her wings and flies. Man, close your fly, you’re birdie is about to fly.

#6

Maggie Wilson, FHM March

This former Bb. Pilipinas World title-holder sizzles as she plays with fire.

#5

Bianca Gonzalez, UNO September

This is not Bianca Gonzalez! She would never show her cleavage like that. She would never pose for a men’s mag.

#4

Akemi Katsuki, Playboy November

Another topless no-namer. But with a sight like that, any guy wouldn't mind giving her his last name.

#3

Daiana Menezes, Maxim June

They say being sexy and funny is a deadly combination. If that’s the case, Daiana is a serial killah!

#2

Marian Rivera, Cosmopolitan March

Say what you want. Call her bakya and jologs. But let me state my case: magazine covers don’t talk, they’re just meant to be seen.

#1

Rosanne Prieto, Rogue March

I don’t have a clue who she is, but I like what I’m seeing here. If you ran out of concepts for a shoot, remember: you can’t go wrong with a birthday suit.

2009 vs. 2008

I don’t know about you, but I find this year’s covers a bit dud. Anne Curtis, Precious Adona, and Joey Mead were powerhouses last year. You can check the 8 Hottest Magazine Covers of ’08 here: http://failed.multiply.com/journal/item/136.