9 Hottest Magazine Covers of ‘09

Here’s to another year of objectifying sex in magazine covers. The usual suspects, men’s lifestyle magazines, put their game face on as they release one hot cover after another. But in their pursuit to push the envelope, they’re finding it harder and harder to differentiate sexy from slutty. In this age of shameless Photoshopping, even the ugliest ducklings can be turned into majestic swans in a single click. The cover model doesn’t even have to be a beauty anymore, concept and art direction take the fore.

Not Hot Enough

Cristine Reyes, FHM September

After being crowned as FHM’s Sexiest for 2009, how could this be? Look at the cover, Cristine definitely deserves better. But fret not, she’s in her full hotness glory on the inside pages.

Viva Hot Babes (Katya Santos, Maui Taylor, and Andrea del Rosario), FHM February

They’re called has-beens for a reason.

Gerard Anderson, CosmoMen

Aljur should have been on the cover instead, agree?

Gerard Anderson & Kim Chiu, Metro December

A number of teeny-boppers can turn into demigods in a bat of an eyelash, but not them.

Unknown Women, Playboy April

This had a lot of potential. Mr. Art Director, you are so fired.

Paloma, Maxim Collector’s Edition

Why don’t you just take your clothes off? Spare us from these hideous outfits.

Paloma, FHM April

High-octane concept, in my opinion. Putting glitters on Paloma’s pussy and nips is genius, but I hope they have chosen another photo for the cover. She looks like an old maid here.

Mocha, Maxim April

Props for being brave. Slaps for being sleazy. I miss the days when lesbo action was hot.

Honorable Mentions

Marge Simpson, Playboy US November

Although this is a foreign cover, this is just too good to ignore. The mother of those fuckers bared it all to commemorate The Simpsons’ 20th anniversary. So who’s next? Bart on GQ? Lisa on Cosmo?

Shaina Magdayao, Mega October

She’s on her way to becoming a hot property. She almost made the cut, if only she had less clothes on.


Ornussa Cadness, UNO October

She appeared on two covers for October: Rogue and UNO. Some may claim that the Rogue cover is classier and sexier, but I still picked this one over the other. Ornussa is not meant to be classy. She’s a wildchild. In this cover, she is herself.


Cherry Ann Kubota, T3 April

Among the five ladies who graced the 100th issue of FHM (Precious Adona, Joyce So, Jacq Yu, and Gail Nicolas), Cherry Ann is the hottest. T3 goes out with a bang with this cover.


Bangs Garcia, FHM May

She finally spreads her wings and flies. Man, close your fly, you’re birdie is about to fly.


Maggie Wilson, FHM March

This former Bb. Pilipinas World title-holder sizzles as she plays with fire.


Bianca Gonzalez, UNO September

This is not Bianca Gonzalez! She would never show her cleavage like that. She would never pose for a men’s mag.


Akemi Katsuki, Playboy November

Another topless no-namer. But with a sight like that, any guy wouldn't mind giving her his last name.


Daiana Menezes, Maxim June

They say being sexy and funny is a deadly combination. If that’s the case, Daiana is a serial killah!


Marian Rivera, Cosmopolitan March

Say what you want. Call her bakya and jologs. But let me state my case: magazine covers don’t talk, they’re just meant to be seen.


Rosanne Prieto, Rogue March

I don’t have a clue who she is, but I like what I’m seeing here. If you ran out of concepts for a shoot, remember: you can’t go wrong with a birthday suit.

2009 vs. 2008

I don’t know about you, but I find this year’s covers a bit dud. Anne Curtis, Precious Adona, and Joey Mead were powerhouses last year. You can check the 8 Hottest Magazine Covers of ’08 here: http://failed.multiply.com/journal/item/136.


Alem said...

with the best:
i agree w/ your number 1. they have made it classy. and i love the maggie simpson tribute.

with the worst:
ang pangit lahat ng covers ni paloma. but i think they really sell to their target market who cares less about art.

sayang nga 'yung playboy anniv cover. sana pinatung-patong na nila ang mga babae over each other as opposed to just using their appendages to cover their own.

i agree w/ aljur over gerard. especially looking at gerard and kim's metro cover. the don't look sexy at all. they should've photoshopped aljur more.

btw, chistine's picture, in her basang sisiw look, does not appear at all in the post. you still have to click it to see her.

more lists please! this is fun!!!

Fidel Antonio Medel said...

I'm glad you liked my #1. I was completely clueless who to put on top when I was making this list, because there were no standouts. Nonetheless, I'm happy that I picked Rogue as #1 for the 2nd year. Hurrah!

I'm curious if Maggie Simpson had frontal nudity in Playboy. Gasp!

The Paloma covers are trashy. Actually, that didn't sell well because nobody knows her.

I didn't realize that making lists is this much fun.


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